I am the greatest sinner

I had an interesting discussion this week about someone who thought her son was exaggerating a bit when he gave his "testimony". She felt like she was pretty involved in the lives of her children and that, while they were not angels, she didn't feel like this son was really into as much as he says he is when he tells of being "saved". (When you see the quotation marks, just imagine me doing that cynical bunny ears thing in the air when I talk.) Anyway, it sparked a conversation about having a good "before and after" story to tell to people when you try to convert them. I imagine a proper Southern Baptist preacher talking about how he strayed from the lord, but is forgiven of all the boozing, cheating, lying, gambling, etc. that he did before he found Jeeeeesssuusssaah.

This story makes me think of that. It makes me think about proving yourself the greatest sinner, and therefore the most forgiven. It bothers me a little to think of it that way, though. I don't want it to be about being forgiven and leaning on the everlasting cross, I want it to be about forgiving with the kind of forgiveness that requires me to really let go of stuff that messes me up and restore a right relationship with those I feel have wronged me in some way. I want this story to be about taking all the justification and self-righteousness that I hold on to, and pouring it out in one wasteful moment and just letting go. But I guess that's the part that takes faith......